#Relationshipgoals vs. #Relationshipno’s
When we think of sexual abuse perpetrators a common vision that may pop into our minds is the media’s ominous portrayal. A hooded individual lurking in the shadows of an alley or waiting in the bushes of a secluded walking trail. What we rarely think of is our significant other. We need to remind ourselves that even though we have committed ourselves to this person, they do not own our bodies. Just because we are in a relationship with someone does not give him or her the right to take ownership of our bodies and demand sexual acts. Consent always needs to be given, whether in a relationship or not.
Relationship No’s are:
• Unwanted kissing or touching.
• Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
• Rape or attempted rape.
• Refusing to use condoms or restricting someone’s access to birth control.
• Keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
• Sexual contact with someone who is very drunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed “yes” or “no.”
• Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
• Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts.
• Using sexual insults toward someone.
• Sharing explicit, intimate photos/videos without permission
Relationship Goals are:
o We share how we feel
o We tell the truth
o We take responsibility for our actions
o We respect each other’s boundaries (physical, emotional, sexual)
o We control our anger
o We never use intimidation, threats, or violence
o We value each other’s feelings
o We value each other’s opinion
o We admit when we are wrong
o We compromise
o We share decision-making
o We do our part
o We listen without judging
o We believe in one another
o We care if the other is happy
Canadian Women’s Foundation